she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
