goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
