i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
