Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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