its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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