I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How's work?
Spinning.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
