I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
