I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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