Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
