I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
