i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
did i walk over a car last night?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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