Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize