I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
