Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
