Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
