Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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