Dual....:-)
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
