If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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