New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
