We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
