Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
