She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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