I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
