Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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