have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
