dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize