I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
