This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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