I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He better not be in your backpack
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
