Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
