The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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