Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
