We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
