Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
