her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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