Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
