Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
