Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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