just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
