my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
