I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
