My brain says no but my pants say off.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Come on in and take your pants off
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