you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
