My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize