That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
