After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We left an ass print on the piano.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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