At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
