I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
