people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
