I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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