absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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