no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
false alarm, still single
Randomize
