Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize