I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
