I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
