am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
