is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
