ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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