think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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