i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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