So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
